My Chakra Report

"Your first chakra is associated with your connection to a tribal force and your sense of belonging in the world. It symbolizes the physical plane of existence — both the earth and your physical body. This being true, it's not surprising that the first chakra is known to be the source of self-preservation and survival. When this first chakra energy is disrupted, you may be more liable to feel alone in the world, be afraid for your safety, and feel disconnected from other people. You're also likely to feel ungrounded, lacking a strong connection to the earth or your body. Energetically, when the first chakra is disrupted you can feel you have no real "roots."

Your first chakra is a level 0.1 out of 10. This means that right now it appears that you have a preoccupation with survival on some level. Such a focus can get in the way of your enjoyment. It can also keep you from taking the risks necessary to be happy. By working the lessons associated with this blocked energy, you can begin to feel safe enough to take more risks and live more fully."


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Reading this triggered the sea of tears I've been suppressing for more than 6 months... or part of it, at least.
No, not because I feel sorry for myself, although some would say that. It's just the accumulated feelings around how hard it is to be me sometimes. I'm so desperate to belong somewhere right now that it's almost shameful...
So yeah, at this moment I don't think Christmas is my thing... I might still have some, but I'm not getting the vibes at all just yet.